Ten items that Every Guy wants, No Matter What

Pop culture wants to represent us men because the easier from the species; monosyllabic, sex-obsessed knuckle-draggers, possessing every depth of a kiddie share; all the predictability of an event. Ply you with alcohol, pulled chicken, UFC, and/or tits, so we’re putty within fingers, correct?

Wrong. We are advanced, unstable, super-complicated snowflakes — all of our tastes more diverse, much more unique than a goddamn Oriental bazaar. Truth is, we’re very multi-layered it will bump you in your butt.

Here, next, is an inventory 10 of the things that make united states happy, and make getting amazed or, not astonished at all because, like I mentioned, we are unpredictable.

1) Feats Of Non-Strength

Darts. Horseshoes. Steps Toss. Beyond the hallowed areas of play would be the hallowed parking lots and backyards of drink, and in which truth be told there end up being drink, there will be tasks — non-athletic activities, however needing exceptional skill, but without the risk of elevating cardiovascular system costs or busting sweats. Such pursuits additionally manage us a no cost hand to keep our drink and/or fist-bump and/or high-five, to make certain that makes it even more awesome. 

2) You created That!

Through the macho satisfaction you believed after sculpting that crap-tacular mom’s time ceramic ashtray circa 1994 Arts & Crafts, to looking in happy admiration at the very first diaper-destroying poo, to assembling your own gf’s Ikea MALM, many of us are hardwired to lie for the pleasure to build some thing; The pleasure of conclusion. (A corollary of this may be the happiness of Demolition, in particular because it applies to stupid Ikea home furniture.)

3) « pressing It Down »

That is what comedian Bill Burr calls the workout of one trying, no matter what, to steadfastly keep up his composure, denying himself any convention of emotion, even yet in more dreadful of situations, which it might or else be completely permissible so that free with a pathetic whimper or, as conditions dictated, a banshee wail. But one doesn’t enable themselves this type of indulgences. Becoming clear: it’s not the bottling up in our very own thoughts that produces us happy; it’s the lacking to suffer through another people’s emotional outburst that brings all of us the actual happiness. Easily actually want to enjoy feeling, it will be my very own, and it’s really whenever I cue up that Volkswagen advertising with all the Darth Vader child — it becomes myself whenever.

4) How Do We Put This Politely… 

anything you call it — a hummer, a beej, fellatio, dental satisfaction — it doesn’t need much description. The scientific reason behind precisely why it does make us pleased is basically because the enjoyment centers have rocked like a goddamn hurricane. The mental cause is the fact that we get a front line chair to a girl we at the very least sort of like being extremely gross for all of us, and all of us alone. That produces united states ecstatic. Various other news, flame is actually hot.

5) Intelligence Masquerading As Stupidity Masquerading As Intelligence

There’s an excuse the brilliant designers for the likes of Ron Burgundy, Kenny Powers and Homer Simpson have actually therefore carefully stolen our very own hearts: Watching a sensible star imagine he’s a guy so foolish he thinks he is a wizard is just terribly enjoyable. Presenting people with such a powerful mixture of arrogance and ineptitude is, in addition to jazz, the great American artform. Their unique antics are the way to obtain countless hours of our joy and, to quote Mr. Burgundy: « cannot become you are not amazed. »

6) McGuyvering

It’s somewhat pertaining to the « building your own material » thing, but the heart of McGuyvering is more about a man’s impulse to improvise and correct whatever requirements repairing using the restricted sources available, together with more unconventional the clear answer, the greater. These solutions would finally fail but, until they do, there’s a distinct sense of euphoria we experience, knowing we managed to fix that moped/toilet/rollerblades/Xbox operator with nothing but our very own blank arms, force of might, and a metric bunch of duct recording.

7) TVs In Random Places

This combines all of our enjoyment of watching shiny situations with this love of gadgetry, mixed in with all the ethos of accomplishing situations mainly because we could, guy: from Dick Tracy’s original TV wristwatch, to Elvis’ notorious television graveyard/target selection, to generally every bout of that featured a television within a car or truck’s sunshine visors/headrest/center console/hubcaps, to people lodge restroom decorative mirrors with, you thought it, inserted miniature TVs; all of them awesome and then make us laugh.

8) a puppy Wearing Sunglasses, looking at A Surfboard


We have little idea, but that response to what makes men smile is, more often than not, « looking at an image of your dog with sunglasses on a surfboard. » Absolutely occasionally some difference — it could instead end up being a skateboard, and/or shades maybe substituted for a monocle, but that might be less possible certainly. Aim existence, the consensus is no different picture, lacking their Excellency The Pope, or Jesus, or Lemmy from Motörhead rocking therefore damn difficult, garners more smiles compared to the dog/surfboard combination. It is simply the « really bro, did I absolutely simply pull this down? I suppose i did so, » phrase about dog’s face. He’s doing it for all those. He’s sporting, he’s down for a good time, but guy is chill about this. In case you are a guy and cannot laugh at this, the face is most likely broken and I also’m sorry.

9) lightweight Things

Portability clearly means to be able to transport the awesomeness of your own favorite thing and, in that way, providing joy anywhere you choose to go. Battleship was the greatest game actually. (i am informed Candyland has also been excellent but we never played it since premise felt unrealistic) But Travel Battleship? Actually cooler — much cooler than wake-surfing behind the U.S.S. Nimitz. Bongs are very cool. The mobile snowboard restoration package that transforms into a miniature one-hitter? Ice cold. Custom chopper cycle? Quite cool. Minibike? Miles-fist-bumping-Elvis amounts of cool. Barbecue cigarette smoker? Very rad and likely the reason why the terrorists hate all of us. Barbecue smoker attached with a trailer hitch, prepared when it comes to open roadway? Exactly why the terrorists won’t ever win.

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10) Repetition, Repetition

The inside joke or provided anecdote is actually a nice and intoxicating thing — like a solid swig of Kentucky Bourbon. Nevertheless sly and steady call-back to said anecdote, actually, say, 10 years afterwards? Well, that there’s the Lagavulin single malt — accordingly elderly which way more gratifying. Such as that amount of time in 2006 as soon as your buddy Jer showed up to a backyard barbecue in the unnecessarily small short pants. Countless entertaining feedback ensued about Jer’s « sweet calves » and « epic thighs » — also it needless to say could not finish indeed there. Actually many years later, the subject of Jer’s Killer Gams nevertheless arises — actually at his wedding toast — delivering fun and delight to many guys.